Twilight Princess JotWad TAS in 4:33.54[Post Commentary]

The JotWad Epic:

Forgive me beforehand if my rhymes are terrible,
I hope that by the end, you find them at least bearable,
If you choose to watch through,
Let me show you a story,
About the Twilight Princess JotWad
speedrun meme category.

Our story begins with rolls to the right,
Falling in a void our first goal in sight,
Ordon Spring has a bridge,
Over a void we seek,
Blocked by a gate,
Which thankfully is quite weak,

We pick up a rock
Then target, and move
To lock Link’s angle,
On the upper control stick groove

With Link’s angle now locked
we walk on straight,
Taking the shortest path,
As we approach the gate

Link will place the rock,
Then sidehop and bonk out
And flip into the void
Silent, with no shout

Link respawns at the start,
The title screen of the game
For we reset and voided out
On the exact same frame

But alas, we’re not done
We must now kill our hero,
So let’s void out again,
And set his health to zero

Game Over now appears,
A vital piece in our success,
So let’s wait for the retry,
And then select yes

The lighting has now changed,
It’s whiter than before
Which means King Bulblin is now here
Atop his blue boar

A battle now ensues,
But the King is undefended
So Link makes quick work,
and now the battle has ended

With that quick fight,
The first phase is done,
A second now begins,
Under the shimmering evening sun

Link charges forward,
Aggressive with his speed,
But suddenly halts,
And turns around his steed

He unleashes a spin
And strikes down the King
Who lets out a roar,
And sits down while falling

The day has been saved,
And our hero has won,
But our goal is to JotWad,
So we’re not quite done,

After skipping a cutscene,
With some epic slow zooms,
We arrive in a village,
Which the Twilight consumes

Right now, our final goal
Is prevented by a glitch,
So let’s reload the village
To fix this slight hitch,

We arrive at a house,
In this Twilight disorder,
Choosing right door, not left,
As the animation is shorter.

Returning outside,
Three beasts we must face,
But they’ll be no problem,
This run is on pace,

The first one is down,
With a quickspin of skill,
We roll to the next two,
And then stand still

Now we must wait
For the shadows to attack,
And cut us down to one heart,
Before we fight back

With the trio struck down,
A portal is restored,
However, it’s useless,
So it’ll be ignored

“What are we doing?”
A curious viewer would ask
“I don’t understand,
What is our task”

Well my dear viewer,
Just wait and you’ll see,
I’ll tell you in a minute,
What our task is to be

For now let us enter
This bomb shop right here
Very soon I promise,
The answer will be clear

In the bomb shop we go,
Up the stairs and around,
To reach a small ladder,
And hear a shadow insect sound

The ladder leads out,
To a roof, colored blue,
Where we’ll turn around,
And let more rolling ensue

Up more stairs and a path,
We’ll continue to roll,
Up the brown switchbacks,
Almost at our goal

We can see it there now,
The watchtower in sight,
This is where we will end,
If we do it right,

We go through the door,
Entering from below,
And are graced with more ladders,
which, yes, are very slow

Going higher and higher,
More ladders we climb,
Nearing the end,
Awaiting our final time

To exit the tower,
Through another door we go,
And see the camera out of bounds,
For a reason I don’t know

And now we’re here,
our final destination,
where see the purpose,
Of this meme’s creation

For where we are now,
Is up very high,
Enough to jump off,
The watchtower, and die